27 of the Funniest Quotes by Winston Churchill

A dashing young man, probably in his late teens. He is wearing full ceremonial military uniform with sword included. He is sitting on a chair and looking directly at the camera. He is slim and has classical features.

“A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.”

-Winston

A very young Winston Churchill in uniform.
(Photo: Imperial War Museum/Public domain)

“He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”

Winston Churchill

“A sheep in sheep’s clothing.”

Winston Churchill


“I’m just preparing my impromptu remarks.”

Winston Churchill

“There is always a strong case for doing nothing, especially for doing nothing yourself.”

Winston Churchill
Two older men laughing heartedly. They are wearing elegant suits.

“We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English.”

-Winston

President Truman of the United States with Winston.
(Photo: U.S. National Archives and Records Administration/Public domain)

“Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.”

Winston Churchill

“There is no such thing as public opinion. There is only published opinion.”

Winston Churchill

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

Winston Churchill
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“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.”

Winston Churchill

“This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.”

Winston Churchill

“Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen.”

Winston Churchill
An older Winston adresses a group of soldiers who are laughing.

Winston making British soldiers laugh in Normandy, France, during World War II. (Photo: Capt. Malindine/Public domain)

“There is less there than meets the eye.”

Winston on a Prime Minister

Someone else: “Mr. Attlee is a very modest man.”
Winston: “Indeed he has a lot to be modest about.”

The Times [a British newspaper] is speechless, and takes three columns to express its speechlessness.”

Winston Churchill

“The English never draw a line without blurring it.”

Winston Churchill
Three men standing next to each other. They are shaking hands, but the man in the middle, Truman, has given his left hand to Winston, who is on his right, and has given his right hand to Stalin, who is on his left. So the middle man's hands are crossed in front of him weirdly. The three men are laughing at the occurrence.

“In those days he was wiser than he is now; he used to frequently take my advice.”

-Winston

Winston, US President Truman, and Stalin, leader of the Soviet Union.
(Photo: Truman Library/Public domain)

“I am a sporting man. I always give them a fair chance to get away.”

Winston on why he missed so many trains and airplanes

“Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.”

Winston Churchill

“There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world, and the worst of it is that half of them are true.”

Winston Churchill

“I hate nobody except Hitler – and that is professional.”

Winston Churchill
Two men in suits laughing.

“In the twinkling of an eye, I found myself without an office, without a seat, without a party, and without an appendix.”

-Winston

Winston with French Prime Minister Leon Blum.
(Photo: Wikimedia/Public domain)

“By noon it was clear that the Socialists would have a majority. At luncheon my wife said to me, ‘It may well be a blessing in disguise.’ I replied, ‘At the moment it seems quite effectively disguised.'”

Winston Churchill

“Everyone is in favour of free speech. Hardly a day passes without its being extolled, but some people’s idea of it is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage.”

Winston Churchill
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“I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is a much better policy to prophesy after the event has already taken place.”

Winston Churchill

“When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.”

Winston Churchill

“We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.”

Winston Churchill
Three men laughing. They are all wearing military uniforms.

Winston, Stalin, and an interpreter. Winston said that Stalin had a great sense of humor.
(Photo: UK’s War Office/Public domain)

What is your favorite quote by Churchill?

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2021-05-03
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